Fear of commitment is something we have all heard in movies, television shows, and maybe real life. Typically, fear of commitment pertains to intimate or romantic relationships, but it doesn’t necessarily have to.
There are a lot of complex issues that can contribute to a fear of commitment and there are similarities between fear of commitment and anxiety disorders.
Before we can look at the ways that fear of commitment correlates with anxiety, what exactly is it and what types of features are associated with it?
What is Fear of Commitment?
Fear of commitment is called gamophobia and is associated with a variety of different attributes. Typically, it can cause feelings of fear and panic, especially during conversations or situations that provoke thoughts of long-term commitment.
This can cause symptoms often associated with anxiety like hyperventilation, chest pain, rapid heart rate, shakiness, difficulty breathing, dizziness, and tingling feelings.
While fear of commitment is not a specific diagnosis, some mental health professionals would categorize it as a type of anxiety disorder.
For example, symptoms like excessive fear and worry, muscle tension, avoidance, and panic attacks are symptoms associated with both anxiety and fear of commitment.
Because of these connections, sometimes people struggling with fear of commitment find advice and guidance about other anxiety disorders quite helpful.
You can find plenty of resources, articles, and information about anxiety at BetterHelp that may shed light on commitment issues you are a loved one may be facing.
What Causes Fear of Commitment?
There are a variety of different factors that can contribute to fear of commitment and the feelings of anxiety that are associated with that fear.
Sometimes the feelings go back to childhood where negative attitudes about marriage and relationships can begin. Other times, it can occur later in life or be difficult to define at all.
The beliefs that a person or culture has on marriage can contribute to the rise of gamophobia as well.
There could also be negative associations made with other people who have had negative experiences with marriage or long-term relationships.
Sometimes someone with a fear of commitment feels like they have to leave their old life behind to fully commit.
They may fear that they will not be able to take care of a spouse and family or may not want to let go of the life they had hoped for when they were younger.
Someone with gamophobia may also not want to attach themselves to one person and still want to expand relationships to others before settling down.
While the causes of commitment fears can be complex and hard to identify, there are also some qualities that you can look for to identify if you actually have a fear of commitment or if it is just normal progression of identity and relationships that are playing a role.
Signs of Fear of Commitment
There are some signs that fear of commitment may be contributing to your relationship woes. Sometimes someone with anxiety about commitment in a romantic relationship will consciously or subconsciously sabotage the relationship.
This can be a type of avoidance behavior that makes someone feel comfortable because they have an escape plan. They may end the relationship themselves or do things to make their partner break it off.
Another sign of fear of commitment is difficulty keeping plans or schedules with a romantic partner or friend. Someone who is afraid of committing may refuse to make long-term plans and always have a backup plan at the ready.
It may be harder for them to say that they are for sure going to attend an event or plan a date in the distant future.
Fear of commitment can also cause someone to continuously question a relationship, even if they are generally happy.
It can also cause someone to have difficulty thinking about where the relationship might lead and where it would be in 1, 2, 5, or 10 years.
Someone struggling with fear of commitment may also find it hard to completely open up to a partner. It can cause constant anxious worries about the relationship and make it hard to engage completely in the moment with an intimate partner.
When asked where they want the relationship to proceed, it may be hard to formulate a clear answer.
How to Cope
Coping can be difficult because fear of commitment can feel like a lonely problem. It is best to identify the underlying causes and fears that revolve around commitment.
Sometimes people find out that there is no good reason anymore, even if there was a legitimate fear in the past. If you are having trouble identifying these types of things, you may want to consider keeping a journal about your thoughts and worries.
Communicating these feelings with your partner can also help a lot. You may find that they have their own insecurities or that they are willing to move slowly until you are ready.
They may be able to support you in ways that make you feel more comfortable with the progression of the relationship.
If the feelings of anxiety persist, then you can also speak with a mental health professional.
Therapy can help you learn how to address illogical thoughts and change uncomfortable and negative emotions into more positive experiences. You may also benefit from learning relaxation techniques like mindfulness meditation.
Conclusion
Fear of commitment is real and can cause a variety of symptoms, many of which are similar to symptoms of anxiety.
Knowing the signs and symptoms of fear of commitment and ways that can help you cope may be the first step toward finding a solution so that you can move forward with your life and stop hesitating in relationships when you are comfortable and happy.